In February 2015, Autostraddle launched
The Ultimate Lesbian Gender Review
, open to all “lady-types exactly who sleep with lady-types.” We earned over 8,566 comprehensive answers (89per cent which were from men and women involving the many years of 18 and 36) now we’re revealing the results with you, bit-by-bit. Formerly:
How Often Do Queer Women Have Sex?
,
100 Gayest Places You Have Had Gender
,
The Masturbation Habits of Queer Females
,
50 Really Exciting Issues Desired All Of Us To Know About The Way You Have Sexual Intercourse
,
26 Bits of Good Intercourse Guidance
,
41 Emotions You May Have About Scissoring
,
Here Are Your Own Extremely Queer Underwear-Wearing Habits
,
With Regards To Orgasms, Lesbians Tend To Be Nailing It
and
The 100 The Majority Of Bold Spots You Had Sex
. Nowadays we are speaing frankly about whenever you lost your virginity as well as how many lovers you’ve had!

What’s Lesbian Gender?

The typical United states loses their unique virginity at age 17 — but “virgins” are defined as individuals that haven’t had heterosexual penis-in-vagina sex with a different-sex partner, which means that most queer women that’ve had gender with females would-be regarded as “virgins” by that meaning. Where do we even start whenever writing on that patriarchal V-Card in a queer framework?

Well, we are here, we’re queer, and we have fantastic intercourse, which 92percent people agree might be described as “any time you are with one or more other person and somebody is attempting to make some body have an orgasm.” 66per cent think mutual masturbation counts, 81.5per cent number oral sex and 80per cent consider pleasuring (electronic penetration) as gender. Regarding the 9.49percent whom indicated “other” along with or instead of the other options for “How Would You establish Lesbian gender?”, one mentioned:

“this might be a challenging question. Do lesbians have sex? The epistomological foot of the phrase ‘sexual’ methods to sever or break down. I might say that closeness between women really does the alternative of sever. It makes us entire. We want a different sort of term than intercourse to spell it out this.”

So, there you are going. Ok last one, and then there is this flowchart:

Okay, thus, now that we’ve established that lesbian intercourse is actually a proper thing and therefore we could determine it though the hell we would like, let’s discuss when you did it the very first time, what number of men and women you accomplished it with, etc.

Very First Time

I’m 33 yrs old, and genuinely I am not sure many queer women my get older or earlier just who even realized another queer lady in highschool, let-alone planned to together with the opportunity to make love with one â€” consequently I happened to be entirely unprepared for how quite a few of you’d ladysex during the early adolescence therefore we failed to ask for an age beyond “16 or under.” When we had, we could’ve offered you with an “average get older of which a queer lady provides sex with another queer lady the very first time,” but we don’t, therefore we can’t! Still, there’s substantially more to chat and contemplate using this data.

Carry Out Queer Ladies Have Sexual Intercourse Earlier Than Right Girls?

Relating to our very own test, yes — but our very own test is ready participants in a study about sex, thus keep that in your mind.
One-third of American teens experienced gender because of the period of 16
, but 43per cent people had sex by the ages of 16 — and amongst that group of 3,101 who’d had gender by period of 16, 44percent had done so with a person, 36per cent had done so with a lady, and 20per cent had accomplished thus with both women and men.

Whenever we view

simply

lesbian-identified women, though, those numbers have become various, which implies that probability a queer lady has had sex with one is a large element in whether or not she actually is had sex because of the chronilogical age of 16. Just 21per cent of lesbians had gender at 16 or younger, as well as that band of 1,832 females, 41percent did very with men, 41per cent performed thus with a female, and 17.9percent did so with both.

Surprisingly, there clearly wasno difference in lesbians and bisexuals in terms of resting with females before the chronilogical age of 16 — it comes out over around 20% for.

This Aspect

Generational distinctions are tremendously important when considering this type of information ready. If you’ve had intercourse with a person as soon as you initially had gender with a lady are very associated with your age — earlier women are more prone to have slept with men at some time and less more likely to being with a woman at a younger age. This will make sense: return back 2 full decades and a lot of teen women having sex with each other would’ve had to ensure that it it is extremely peaceful, go back three many years or even more and obtaining caught in a lesbian sexcapade could’ve ruined your daily life. Which is still real for a lot of queer women, but not to the same level as it was in days gone by.

33percent of the over 40 made it happen with a lady the very first time at 18 or younger, versus 64.7percent of under-21s. Certainly more youthful people will report more youthful years of getting had intercourse, because young people who possessn’t had intercourse tend to be less likely to want to complete the study to begin with, so those numbers are just mildly appropriate — but also, 9.38per cent of under-21s whom did grab the review have not ever had gender with a woman, when compared to 1per cent more than 40s.

There is also a severe generational difference once you glance at the number of ladies experienced sex with men, which statistically speaking, can take place for the first time circa age 17 and so provides a very securely controlled consider how stuff has altered considering that the time whenever sex with men was mandatory and gender with females had been tricky to find. (Although, becoming reasonable, it surely was not socially appropriate for women to have intercourse with

anyone

they certainly weren’t married to for the majority of human history.) 49.6% of under-21s have seen gender with one, when compared with 76.7% of those over 30 and 81.4per cent over 40.

For a lot of bisexual, queer, pansexual and otherwise-identified human beings, intercourse with guys is an activity they genuinely want performing, thus, to get an improved take a look at people who’ve had sex with males despite (during the time or at some point) attempting to have sexual intercourse solely with ladies, I narrowed industry to simply lesbian-identified ladies. The numbers were nearly identical for more mature females, but changed somewhat for more youthful ones: 41percent of under-21 lesbians have experienced sex with men, versus 78percent of lesbians over 40. It is one of several explanations why it is therefore annoying when lesbian identification is actually policed centered on if or not you

ever before

had sex with a person — you’re probably denying an entire generation of females their own identification.

Of everyone who’d had gender with men, 91.7% performed very the very first time during the chronilogical age of 21 or early in the day, but only 76% of those who would had sex with a lady pulled it off prior to the ages of 21. Sometimes it requires a little longer to discover that you love women at all, and often it just requires slightly lengthier to acquire a woman exactly who loves you back. Heteronormativity is a powerful energy, y’all.

Just How Many Individuals Have You’d Intercourse With?

Which is an excellent concern, header book! I will answer it available nowadays:

What is actually fascinating here is how numerous associates you have had than straight women! According to the CDC,
10% of females between the ages of 25 and 44 have seen gender (oral, vaginal or anal) with over 15 guys
— at the same time, 29.4percent with the women between 25 and 44 on our survey have acquired sex along with 15 men and women. That is nearly three times much more!

There are numerous prospective details because of this. The very first is that
queers may be non-monogamous
. The second reason is that there is less stigma around “promiscuity” in queer sectors — my “number” is a thing I found myself

continuously

aware of and asked for as I dated males, but virtually zero from the women I outdated have actually requested it. The 3rd usually people with vulvas that sex along with other people with vulvas cannot risk pregnancy, consequently everyday gender feels a lot more, well,

everyday.

What other elements are likely involved in what amount of sexual partners you had? Really, here will be the cross-tabbed elements which had by far the most dramatic outcomes:

Another fascinating relationship had been “interest in kink.” 30percent of the very or entirely enthusiastic about kink had 16+ intimate associates, compared to 14.5per cent of those who are not really interested or perhaps not contemplating kink.

In addition, athough the test measurements of Muslim-identified females (26) was too little for mathematically significant conclusions, that small group performed report way less intimate lovers than other religious teams. Buddhists (214 participants) and Wiccans (157 participants) had been almost certainly going to have numerous sexual partners than other spiritual groups — 18per cent of Buddhists reported 25+ intimate associates, compared to 11% in the entire party.

Do a lot more partners correlate with getting more confident between the sheets?

Yes. 70.4per cent of those with 1-2 associates had been either rather

or

very confident in sleep, when compared to 97.5per cent of these with 100+ associates. The distinctions tend to be more severe on either end of the spectrum — 71.6per cent of these with 100+ partners are extremely self-confident, versus 18.7per cent of those with 1-2 lovers and between 30 and 55 % of those with spouse counts including 6 to 99. The greater development would be that a lot of you may be confident in bed, duration — 82.4% on the entire party tend to be notably or really self-confident and simply 9.23per cent are “not confident” or “really not self-confident.”

Therefore, there you have got it! Queer women do have more intimate associates than direct females and appear to have intercourse for the first time round the same age, too. Queers: they’re similar to queers!